You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

During my hiatus I had what I thought was the pleasure to reconnect with an old friend of mine. I was dead wrong. Yet this experience did give me an insight I would not have chosen to know but, is helpful to know in my future travels in life. What exactly do you do with a Narcissist?

I had somewhat dated this guy(hardly can be called a man) a few years back. As an optimist my memories auto-correct after a little time. Unless the memory is extremely awful, I see the good more than the lame or bad. This is the flaw that happened when I added him as a friend on my Facebook a few months back. Soon after, the relationship I was in fell apart and he started contacting me off and on. That was fine with me until the week of my horrid birthday(another blog to explain that to come).

He wanted to meet up with me and I said yes but, he cancelled on me because he got a migraine. I said that was fine and we could meet up some other time. A few days later he caught me on FB and asked if I wanted to come over. I was tired, broke, and had chores to do so, I said no and cited the chores I had to do. He said Okay and I thought good he understands I am busy. I, of course, was dead wrong again. Two hours later he asked again and this time I cited all three reasons. He had a solution to all of these: I could do chores tomorrow since I did not work, He could pick me up, and He had a guest room I could sleep in when I got there.

Now, remember I had not seen this guy in two years and we had been on three dates at that time. I politely said no thank you and that we might hangout another day. He spent two more hours asking me out over and over and ignoring my request and towards the end pleas to let me be. I realized I was talking to a Narcissist and worse a Narcissist that was determined for us to date. No matter what you say or feel the Narcissist will ignore everything they do not agree with or goes against their goals. And his goal was dating me.

So, how do you get rid of an annoying Narcissist? Follow these steps:

1. Ask them if they mind if you give them a constructive criticism. They will probably say no or ignore the request.

2. Criticize Them. Make sure it is true. Even if they said yes if they are a Narcissist they do not want to hear it.

3. Stand Firm. To what you said and to No.

4. Make It Seem The End is Their Idea. They might call you names or say you are acting rude and that you are a horrible person but, remember you want this toxic person out of your life.

5. If They Do Not Get The Hint Put A No Contact Order in Writing. Via Facebook message or e-mail is best so you have a record for legal reasons if they become a stalker.

What happened to me after I followed these steps? He sent me a message that said,"Thank you for QUICKLY showing me you are the same person you were before." Changed his status telling his little friends he had told ME off! I have not heard from him since. Success!

Remember No means No and no one has the right to disrespect you. If you feel your life is in danger please ignore the above advice and call 911. I hope this helps many out there who feel bullied in a corner by a Narcissist!

No More Hiatus

I had to take a mini hiatus because in these troubling times I really needed to fill all of my free time trying to find a job. Blogging just does not pay the bills or keeps the roof over my head. Today, we celebrate that I have found a job and can start to blog, paint, and play around again in my free time!

I am so happy to be working again. It can be hard but, when I have time off I kind of miss working. I guess the work horse inside of me does not like to lay around all day and even if my part in society is small, I still want to do my part. I know some people who would love to do nothing all day and I know some that do. I have seen mothers who place their babies in playpens and just spend all day doing nothing except the bare minimum to keep the child alive. My opinion of this behavior is if you are not going to be a productive member of humanity you should at least raise your child to be one. You made them raise them or hand them to someone who will.

This past year and two months of not working have been torture. I do not like sitting watching crappy television and doing nothing. Weekends were the worst because you could spend the weekday trying to find a job and feel hopeful but, on weekends no one calls, no interviews happen, and no legit job postings came online. Spending all day trying to find a job is no picnic either. You work all day for little to no money.

That was then and this is now. I am happy I can work out any issues and try my best at what I do. No more waiting for this or that hiring manager. My fate is in my hands. No more hiatus in this life.

TV To Rot Your Ideals, Part 1: The Perfect Family, Brady Bunch

We all want that perfect family like The Brady Bunch, right? Pleasant dad, sweet mom, three boys, three girls (the youngest of course has curls), a dog, and a housekeeper so that sweet non working mom can lay around all day. What else could be more perfect? These are unattainable ideals even by TV standards. Even if we forget about the behind the scenes issues, The Brady Bunch is still not as perfect as you remember.

First off, Mike Brady is a widower meaning that a wife and mother of three had to die for The Brady Bunch to form. Not exactly happy. Yet none of the boys ever talk about their dead mother and even call Carol 'Mom". This seems to make the statement that wives and mothers are replaceable. Your mother died? Let's go get a new one.

Carol Brady is divorced. Out there some where is a dead beat dad named Mr. Martin (as this is her last name in the beginning but, her maiden name is Tyler). No one talks about him either and I never saw Carol opening child support papers. The first products of an absent father on television, not exactly perfect.

Then there is no wonder that the Brady girls have some disorders. Marica has signs of OCD, Jan has major jealously issues and extremely low self-esteem, and Cindy had a lisp and some developmental delays. It is not their fault that they have these issues but, why did their parents not put them in therapy? Jan really needed it for all of the problems she had displayed.

As you can see they were not a perfect family. They just pushed the issues under the rug and never brought them up again. Real life is not like this. You could have a happy family if you forget where you came from and ignored the elephants in the room. Or you could just hire that sunny housekeeper for your lazy wife. =)

Boba With A Side Of Mall

Today, I went to the Boba House and the mall with my sister, Vicky, and my cousin, Jessica.

A Boba are chewy tapioca beads that taste and feel like sweet almost tasteless gummies. You can add Boba to any drink but, at the Boba House they have Slush, Tea (also called Bubble Tea), and Coffee. I ordered a Honeydew Slush and a pack of Chocolate Hello Pandas (kind of like Koala Snacks which for those younger than me are plain cookie bites with either chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla in it) and Vicky got a Cherry Slush. Very Yummy!

Then we headed to the mall. I have not been in a packed weekend mall for a very long time. It is loud and super busy. I am broke at the moment but, I bought a cheap yet nice lipstick. I had to put back the Yellow Submarine shirt I eyed with the hope to come back when I have the money to get it.

I am not a mall rat by any means. I like my clothes lightly used and very cheap at the thrift store. There is no feeling better than finding a brand new brand name garment for five or less dollars. I do go to the mall though every blue moon and if the price is right then I buy. I go to Burlington Coat Factory and I look about for discount clearance items. The best deal I ever got was at Hot Topic on a Little Mermaid white shirt with a big red stain down the side discounted from $20 to $5. One cycle in my washer and that stain was gone, band new shirt for $15 less. I found out today that the Dillard's at The University Mall is a discount store. I might pop by there when I get a job and some green.

New Emily

It has been a while since my last post and much has changed. I lost my relationship and my apartment. I now live in a shared apartment with a roommate who was a complete stranger a few months ago. It started with a car accident that happened on March 23rd. This left me with a herniated disk and a mess of a life. I am putting one foot in front of the other to climb out of this hole I have been put into.

It is not all bad, I could have ended up back at my parent's house out of other options. I have an interview at a well known children's early education center (I'll call it Kids' Place) on Wednesday. Kids' Place is a dream job and I really hope I get it. If I do then I should be on my way up. I find it funny that a simple job could change my whole life, considering I am not a material person.
I should stay afloat even if it falls through but, it is the best job interview I have had yet and to get a job I would love in a down economy would be a dream.

I got so lonely tonight that I went to a sit down restaurant by myself. I noticed that the waiter paid more attention to me than when I went with someone else. Pity maybe? There was a time I cared very much what others thought about me but, that has changed. I don't want to seem mean or rude but, I don't care about the rest. So, I ate my burger, dropped my tip, and went on my way in peace.

I thought maybe it is time to start up my blog again. I noticed I had more of a grip of what was out in the world than if I sit here alone playing Sims and sending out my applications to jobs. So, here is the first post of 2010 and to many more.

Alive! Wait Where Is My Bag?

I made it alive to D.R. Yay! This really is great news. I survived delays, the flights, the hunger, and my need to sleep. Yet I have one small problem: Richie's and my bags were lost somewhere between Tampa and here. I have one set of clothes, some airplane activities, purse contents, and this laptop. I would have loved to post picture of the wonderful day I have had but, alas, my camera is MIA in a bag. They should be here tomorrow. This is a very good thing because, nothing is more akward then wearing your boyfriend's mother's clothes.

Airport

I am here at Tampa Airport. I feel surprisingly calm. I have been pushing bad thoughts out of my mind all morning, trying to stay calm as possible. Everything will be fine. I will be fine. By this time tomorrow I will be in the Dominican Republic and everything will be dandy.