During my hiatus I had what I thought was the pleasure to reconnect with an old friend of mine. I was dead wrong. Yet this experience did give me an insight I would not have chosen to know but, is helpful to know in my future travels in life. What exactly do you do with a Narcissist?
I had somewhat dated this guy(hardly can be called a man) a few years back. As an optimist my memories auto-correct after a little time. Unless the memory is extremely awful, I see the good more than the lame or bad. This is the flaw that happened when I added him as a friend on my Facebook a few months back. Soon after, the relationship I was in fell apart and he started contacting me off and on. That was fine with me until the week of my horrid birthday(another blog to explain that to come).
He wanted to meet up with me and I said yes but, he cancelled on me because he got a migraine. I said that was fine and we could meet up some other time. A few days later he caught me on FB and asked if I wanted to come over. I was tired, broke, and had chores to do so, I said no and cited the chores I had to do. He said Okay and I thought good he understands I am busy. I, of course, was dead wrong again. Two hours later he asked again and this time I cited all three reasons. He had a solution to all of these: I could do chores tomorrow since I did not work, He could pick me up, and He had a guest room I could sleep in when I got there.
Now, remember I had not seen this guy in two years and we had been on three dates at that time. I politely said no thank you and that we might hangout another day. He spent two more hours asking me out over and over and ignoring my request and towards the end pleas to let me be. I realized I was talking to a Narcissist and worse a Narcissist that was determined for us to date. No matter what you say or feel the Narcissist will ignore everything they do not agree with or goes against their goals. And his goal was dating me.
So, how do you get rid of an annoying Narcissist? Follow these steps:
1. Ask them if they mind if you give them a constructive criticism. They will probably say no or ignore the request.
2. Criticize Them. Make sure it is true. Even if they said yes if they are a Narcissist they do not want to hear it.
3. Stand Firm. To what you said and to No.
4. Make It Seem The End is Their Idea. They might call you names or say you are acting rude and that you are a horrible person but, remember you want this toxic person out of your life.
5. If They Do Not Get The Hint Put A No Contact Order in Writing. Via Facebook message or e-mail is best so you have a record for legal reasons if they become a stalker.
What happened to me after I followed these steps? He sent me a message that said,"Thank you for QUICKLY showing me you are the same person you were before." Changed his status telling his little friends he had told ME off! I have not heard from him since. Success!
Remember No means No and no one has the right to disrespect you. If you feel your life is in danger please ignore the above advice and call 911. I hope this helps many out there who feel bullied in a corner by a Narcissist!
You Probably Think This Blog Is About You
No More Hiatus
I had to take a mini hiatus because in these troubling times I really needed to fill all of my free time trying to find a job. Blogging just does not pay the bills or keeps the roof over my head. Today, we celebrate that I have found a job and can start to blog, paint, and play around again in my free time!
I am so happy to be working again. It can be hard but, when I have time off I kind of miss working. I guess the work horse inside of me does not like to lay around all day and even if my part in society is small, I still want to do my part. I know some people who would love to do nothing all day and I know some that do. I have seen mothers who place their babies in playpens and just spend all day doing nothing except the bare minimum to keep the child alive. My opinion of this behavior is if you are not going to be a productive member of humanity you should at least raise your child to be one. You made them raise them or hand them to someone who will.
This past year and two months of not working have been torture. I do not like sitting watching crappy television and doing nothing. Weekends were the worst because you could spend the weekday trying to find a job and feel hopeful but, on weekends no one calls, no interviews happen, and no legit job postings came online. Spending all day trying to find a job is no picnic either. You work all day for little to no money.
That was then and this is now. I am happy I can work out any issues and try my best at what I do. No more waiting for this or that hiring manager. My fate is in my hands. No more hiatus in this life.
TV To Rot Your Ideals, Part 1: The Perfect Family, Brady Bunch
We all want that perfect family like The Brady Bunch, right? Pleasant dad, sweet mom, three boys, three girls (the youngest of course has curls), a dog, and a housekeeper so that sweet non working mom can lay around all day. What else could be more perfect? These are unattainable ideals even by TV standards. Even if we forget about the behind the scenes issues, The Brady Bunch is still not as perfect as you remember.
First off, Mike Brady is a widower meaning that a wife and mother of three had to die for The Brady Bunch to form. Not exactly happy. Yet none of the boys ever talk about their dead mother and even call Carol 'Mom". This seems to make the statement that wives and mothers are replaceable. Your mother died? Let's go get a new one.
Carol Brady is divorced. Out there some where is a dead beat dad named Mr. Martin (as this is her last name in the beginning but, her maiden name is Tyler). No one talks about him either and I never saw Carol opening child support papers. The first products of an absent father on television, not exactly perfect.
Then there is no wonder that the Brady girls have some disorders. Marica has signs of OCD, Jan has major jealously issues and extremely low self-esteem, and Cindy had a lisp and some developmental delays. It is not their fault that they have these issues but, why did their parents not put them in therapy? Jan really needed it for all of the problems she had displayed.
As you can see they were not a perfect family. They just pushed the issues under the rug and never brought them up again. Real life is not like this. You could have a happy family if you forget where you came from and ignored the elephants in the room. Or you could just hire that sunny housekeeper for your lazy wife. =)
Boba With A Side Of Mall
Today, I went to the Boba House and the mall with my sister, Vicky, and my cousin, Jessica.
A Boba are chewy tapioca beads that taste and feel like sweet almost tasteless gummies. You can add Boba to any drink but, at the Boba House they have Slush, Tea (also called Bubble Tea), and Coffee. I ordered a Honeydew Slush and a pack of Chocolate Hello Pandas (kind of like Koala Snacks which for those younger than me are plain cookie bites with either chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla in it) and Vicky got a Cherry Slush. Very Yummy!
Then we headed to the mall. I have not been in a packed weekend mall for a very long time. It is loud and super busy. I am broke at the moment but, I bought a cheap yet nice lipstick. I had to put back the Yellow Submarine shirt I eyed with the hope to come back when I have the money to get it.
I am not a mall rat by any means. I like my clothes lightly used and very cheap at the thrift store. There is no feeling better than finding a brand new brand name garment for five or less dollars. I do go to the mall though every blue moon and if the price is right then I buy. I go to Burlington Coat Factory and I look about for discount clearance items. The best deal I ever got was at Hot Topic on a Little Mermaid white shirt with a big red stain down the side discounted from $20 to $5. One cycle in my washer and that stain was gone, band new shirt for $15 less. I found out today that the Dillard's at The University Mall is a discount store. I might pop by there when I get a job and some green.
New Emily
It has been a while since my last post and much has changed. I lost my relationship and my apartment. I now live in a shared apartment with a roommate who was a complete stranger a few months ago. It started with a car accident that happened on March 23rd. This left me with a herniated disk and a mess of a life. I am putting one foot in front of the other to climb out of this hole I have been put into.
It is not all bad, I could have ended up back at my parent's house out of other options. I have an interview at a well known children's early education center (I'll call it Kids' Place) on Wednesday. Kids' Place is a dream job and I really hope I get it. If I do then I should be on my way up. I find it funny that a simple job could change my whole life, considering I am not a material person.
I should stay afloat even if it falls through but, it is the best job interview I have had yet and to get a job I would love in a down economy would be a dream.
I got so lonely tonight that I went to a sit down restaurant by myself. I noticed that the waiter paid more attention to me than when I went with someone else. Pity maybe? There was a time I cared very much what others thought about me but, that has changed. I don't want to seem mean or rude but, I don't care about the rest. So, I ate my burger, dropped my tip, and went on my way in peace.
I thought maybe it is time to start up my blog again. I noticed I had more of a grip of what was out in the world than if I sit here alone playing Sims and sending out my applications to jobs. So, here is the first post of 2010 and to many more.
Alive! Wait Where Is My Bag?
I made it alive to D.R. Yay! This really is great news. I survived delays, the flights, the hunger, and my need to sleep. Yet I have one small problem: Richie's and my bags were lost somewhere between Tampa and here. I have one set of clothes, some airplane activities, purse contents, and this laptop. I would have loved to post picture of the wonderful day I have had but, alas, my camera is MIA in a bag. They should be here tomorrow. This is a very good thing because, nothing is more akward then wearing your boyfriend's mother's clothes.
Airport
I am here at Tampa Airport. I feel surprisingly calm. I have been pushing bad thoughts out of my mind all morning, trying to stay calm as possible. Everything will be fine. I will be fine. By this time tomorrow I will be in the Dominican Republic and everything will be dandy.
Shoe Loving Cat & Reincarnation
Ramona is already a strange cat. She opens doors, swims in toilets, and stands like a meerkat. Yet, I find one thing that makes her even stranger: She loves shoes. She sits in front of the shoe rack and moves them all around. I always thought she just liked playing with them until this afternoon. I took out my new shoes and put in insoles in them and put them inside the box them came in. This crazy cat came out from her hideout under the couch and starts to try to open the box. I have given her old, empty shoe boxes to play with but, even with catnip she looked at me like I was out of my mind. I said nothing but, she soon gave up and right now she is cuddled up to the box of shoes. I could understand if they were leather shoes and smelled nice to a cat but, they are pleather (glorified plastic is a wonderful thing). Last night this was the cat who tried to drag my purse across the house.
These events got me to thinking about reincarnation. Maybe, Ramona was a human woman who loved shoes and fashion in her last life. My vet had estimated Ramona's birthday was between the last two weeks of March and the first two weeks of April 2007. I looked up who died those two weeks and though I found interesting that three female writers died that April 5th, I found no glamor puss. This is when I realized that those who believe in reincarnation believe it happens at the point of conception. It takes cat 63-65 days to carry their kittens to term. This means that Ramona was created in late January or early February and would have a soul from that time frame. Back to Wikipedia I went. In that time span I did find a woman who loved fashion.
Did Anna Nicole Smith reincarnate as Ramona Quimby the Cat? They both came from a poor background and became wealthy (if you think of cat wealth as food, water, indoor living, and toys). Ramona does always looks at the camera and at times even looks to pose for it. I can never get a side view picture of her she always looks even if I have not flashed a picture yet. She also has a impulse control problem at times, running around or as I said before swimming in the toilet. Maybe, when she hides under the couch she is enjoying something she never had in her past life: privacy.
I must say that if Anna Nicole's soul did end up in a calico cat's body it would not be that bad for her. Cats have it easy if they live in a home with free food and nice places to sleep all day. Ramona did respond to "Anna Nicole" but, she also responded to "Garbage Can" and "Bobette" as well. I really do not know if I believe that Anna Nicole is my cat, that is for the cosmos to know. Yet, with all of the famous and talented people who have passed away these past few weeks if reincarnation is really what happens and that a new peaceful life for all might make us feel better about of this natural part of life.
Looking For A Purpose
In ten days I am going to face my fear of airplanes by taking two of them to The Dominican Republic. I am going to visit Richie's family and see where he comes from. I hope to post some of my trip while I am there but, if not I will when I get back.
More important than my trip to D.R. is the trip I must take to find my purpose. In June I lost alot. I lost my job, found out school was a scam, and overall lost my purpose. I had everything lined up and now I have no plans past this trip. I think it will really hit me on August 31st when I wake up at home and find I still do not know where I am going. I just want to wait until my real trip is finished to take this unpleasant trip. I just want to have fun in the moment.
Duck Bitten
problem. I thought it would nice to have pictures of these cute ducks and their ducklings. Unfortunately, one of the ducks either thought the camera was food or was tired of paparazzi and bit my sister's finger. Yet she was able to get this nice picture of the duck about to attack.--->
I joked with her that because she does not eat animals the animals have decided to eat her! None of the ducks have ever attacked me and I see them everyday. I love the fuzzy multicolored baby ducks that peep and play with each other. There is one poor mother duck that has 12 ducklings following her around. I find it funny to watch her try to keep control of her big flock of fuzzy children. When I am down I just look around at these funny animals waddling around asking in quacks for food or biting my sister. =)23 Today
So, I turned 23 today. I was looking forward to a boring day at home doing what I usually do. I was woken up at ten this morning by Richie. He informed me we had to get going because he had set up an appointment to get a massage.
It was a nice massage. I did not know how ticklish my back is. When I was not choking back giggles my thoughts were floating around. I am 23 today. It hit me more than anything that my first memory was officially 20 years ago. That is crazy. Everything has changed since then. I am in a new state, I have a sister and many more cousins, and I am an adult, not a young child.
After my massage and trip down 20 years of memories, I had Subway for lunch. When I got home I laid around and took a walk. Finally, dinner time came around and Richie surprised me again with a dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. Nothing is better than Asian dumplings and a blue cheese burger. They brought me out a free cream bowl without singing. Overall, it was a nice day.
Yay For Computers
After a day and an half my internet and cable box was turned back on. Some newbie cable person pulled our plug when installing another person's cable.
I never really think about how much I need the internet. I need it to write this blog and to check in on my friends but, what killed me the most was not connecting with the rest of the world. In this day and age you need a good internet connection to get news. I love the fact that if I think "Hmmm...I wonder what happened to Fred Savage from the Wonder Years is up to now." and just Google or Yahoo 'Fred Savage' and there is my answer.
I think back to when I was growing up. I did not have a personal computer in my house until I was eight almost nine (1995). Then, we did not have internet until 1998 when I was twelve. Before I had a computer I had only played on one of my friend's computers and one at school. I remember my first games on the computer were 3D Dinosaurs, Math Blaster, and Reader Rabbit. Now, it has been fourteen years and I can not imagine not having my computers. I need them for so many functions: news, communication, music, writing, school, and of course Sims 3. Yay, for computers and the internet!
Changes On The Path
My life has been changing these past few days. Richie and I have decided to get a roommate. In these hard times we needed the help more than the freedom of a full two bed, two bath apartment allowed us. With her comes quite a few animals, one which is staying over, he is a cute cat called Sushi. I just hope Ramona does not eat him or the bunnie!
Then, I am looking into other college choices. GCU claims I owe 2,500 dollars yet, nobody will call me back about that. I was told I was in the clear and now they say I am not after it is too late to do anything. So, I am going to look into colleges around my house. HCC looks good and so is USF.
I turn 23 in a week. I hope to be going to Disney for my real birthday because, it is free. I will have a party on August 1st at my house. I hope it is a better year than this one.
Pros & Cons Of The Library
Like every town has a village idiot, every town has a library. There are Pros and Cons in going there. Here are mine:
Pro #1: It is Free!
Nothing beats free things! The library is free to any person be you the hobo on the street or Britney Spears. You have the right to take and read books with no fee. I can read that overpriced thirty dollar book for no charge.
Con #1: You Have Due Dates
The library is not free when you forgot that novel on your coffee table is not your own book. It is also annoying how if the book is popular you have two weeks to read it before you have to hand if off to the next lucky person to read. It is speed read or wait five months to read it again. Sometimes, I pay the two dollars in late fees just to get more time with the book but, the phone calls from the "Late Book Monster" every other day gets on my nerves.
Pro #2: They Have All The Books You Want
Unless you live in the library you do not have the room to put a million or so in your house. The library holds all the books you want and even more that you do not know you want. You can find something you want in the databases and it is healthy to read many books.
Con #2: Waiting For A Book
I have wanted a book for the past month and I had to be put on a waiting list because I had not noticed that Oprah had just promoted the book. That means it might be another two to four more weeks before I get my hands on it. Then I will have to read it fast to bring it back in two weeks. If I was willing to pay twenty-five dollars I could have it today, Oprah or no Oprah. The only time my patience got the best of me was for the Harry Potter series and I happened to ask for them for my birthday for three years because they came out either right before or right after. Why wait for six months on a waiting list when you can have it for free right now?
Pro #3: It is Very Quiet In There
I do not live in a crazy household but, sometimes I need the quiet to let my mind wander. I just walk up and down the halls looking at random books. It is nice to slow down and just have some moments of peace.
Con #3: Sharing Can Be Yucky
I don't know about you but, when I am into a really good book I take it everywhere...and I mean everywhere. I can forget that the book might have been in someone else's bathroom but, I can't ignore the mystery spots on my books. Yet worst is when you open a book and crumbs fall out or the unappealing look and feel of water damaged books. In these ways sharing can be yucky.
Let's Eat Cake!
I just might have three cakes this year: ice cream cake, pudding cake, and whatever my parents buy. That is alot of cake. As a kid the "Birthday Fairy" made my cakes...which turned out to be my mom. My 15th birthday cake was a cupcake that my God Mother bought me and my 19th birthday saw me waking up in France with an apple pie(because Americans like that lol). My craziest cake of my childhood dreams was my 21st birthday with a neon The Little Mermaid cake. So, with 23 cakes, a cupcake, and an apple pie, I know my birthday food. Yummy-Yummy!Sick Day Wish
I woke up today not feeling so hot. Well, actually my forehead was hot, the rest of me...not so much. It is also not hot having my boyfriend making me stay on this couch.
I am so glad that out of the blue the internet on my laptop started working again. It was out for the pass two weeks and all of a sudden I said, "Man, I wish the internet was working on my laptop!" At that moment it popped up and said, "You are now connected!" I thought I was delirious and handed it to Richie and he said that it is indeed working.
I wonder this is a sick day wish and at midnight my laptop will become a pumpkin. I hope not, I forgot the recipe for pumpkin pie from scratch. Maybe, it is my birthday wish ten days early. Then I will have a year to find that pumpkin pie recipe. I really hope it stays a working laptop. We will have to see.
Ramona The Cat (and others)
People are their pets. That would make me a two year old calico beauty with a sneaky personality! Ramona is the most cat-like cat I have ever had and the most intellagent to boot. She and I click and she even has a bump on her nose like me.
Ramona is very smart but, she has to want to do what you ask of her. The day I found out she ignores me not misunderstands me is the day I was watching Meerkat Manor with her and she stood up on two legs like a meerkat. I had tried from the age of six to train two of my former cats to sit on hind legs and had failed and here she was doing it by herself. That was cool.
Then I hosted a family member's cat who knew how to open doors. He did his trick once and she tried it out herself. We had to lock the door outside at all times because she would run away until she was extremely hungry. Even when it rained that cat would sit out and relax.
I had two cats before
her: Julius and Marbles. I had Julius (I have no pictures of him) from the time I was five until I was eight. He was a very mean cat and even once climbed up my face while I was sitting up in bed. We had to get rid of him because he just worse not better in the behavior problems. For a while we did not have a cat until someone threw a cat in a garbage bag out of their truck and into the field next door. You would think he would be bitter but, he was a calm and sweet cat with the behaviors of a well trained dog. He adopted us and we called him Marbles(pictured at left). He had a hunter's spirit and killed many feathered and furry animal all which he brought to me to "fix". Unlucky for this cat I was not God and had to put his "toys" in the trash can. Sadly, he passed away from cancer June 2007. I could not fix him either. He was a great cat.
Then, I started new with Ramona that August when I answered an ad for a 8 week old kitten on Petfinder. Only to find out she was 6 months old and was from a feral cat com
munity. She jumped from a small kitten to a big on in a week and had a clipped ear a symbol that she was a part of the fix and release program. I wondered if she would ever come out from under my couch and if so would she be friendly? She came out one night to eat and found me sitting watching television and sat down next to me and began to purr. I knew then that she was going to be a good companion.
Right now she is sitting in a desk chair watching me pound these keys and is purring at only the fact that she is in the same room as me.
So, what do I want to get across in this post? That there are tons of animals right now sitting in shelters or on the streets that need a home. If I had not opened my home where would my friend, Ramona, be? Or would Marbles had the same comfortable life? I do not want to think of the possibilities. Even if you do not have room, or if you are allergic to animals you can still help them out by donating time or money to animal causes.
Happiness is Looking At Your Own Grass
Remember the old saying 'The grass is greener on the other side."? Well, maybe it is but, why look?
I have grown up in my life wanting summer when it was winter and winter when it was summer. I had something and then I wanted something better. Now, at 22 soon to be 23 I know that the grass can be greener but, it could also be browner, too.
Last year. my boyfriend and I decided to break-up. We had only loved each other and we thought we wanted better and that things could not get worse than this. We divided the furniture, packed up our stuff, and went back to living with our parents. We dated new and what we hoped were more exciting people.
In the end living like minors in our parents' houses was not appealing. Worse, the people we were dating were either more controlling, less exciting, or dependent on illegal grasses. We had found nice big patches of brown grass!
So, in the end we made up when we ran into each other while getting the last of our things from the apartment. We knew we had green enough grass right where we stood. Now, even though the bills are piling up and we are trying to keep our heads above water, I know that this is where I am suppose to be. If better grass comes I will welcome it yet, I am happy where I am.
The Start Of A Journey
This more like the start of chronicling the journey as the journey really started on July 28th, 1986. I am at the point in my life where everything is up in the air and I could end up anywhere. I just got laid off at work and I feel good about it. I am working towards a BS in Elementary Education and hope to get a job in social services for children. I do not know if that is what is going to happen but, I do know I am ready for anything..
So, this is the start of blogging my journey through random and sometimes thought provoking, sometimes amusing posts about what is going through my head. It is the steps we take in life not the end result that makes us who we are. Here is my first.
